It's not just about the amount of people who were around. They're stronger when provoked, you know. [though she assumes maybe they felt too bad to kill her as kate...] Did it bother you? That she kept trying to help us?
Because if she's still trying, then what right do I or does anyone have over her life? ...That's what I thought. She wasn't like Kar, who was ready for the end. She rallied herself after killing Famine, and she was still working hard.
[there's a wave of guilt, and not a little amount of self-loathing]
She's been afflicted for a while. [quietly. her emotions are a mess. grief and guilt and the nauseating horror of having watched a little girl die, but.] I don't think... you did anything wrong. I don't think we have another way of helping the afflicted, either. From the sound of things, she might even be better off in the other plane with Death and the others, where she can't be forced to hurt anybody else or used as a sacrifice by the cult.
[he can feel how much it hurts Asa to say, and understanding rises in him in response -- empathy too. to say these things out loud when they're painful to say]
...I think so too. As much as I'll beat myself up over this... I have to believe that she's safer over there. And that they'll benefit just as much from her help.
[even though the reality of it is terrible all around]
And if things all go to shit... then I'll still accept what I've done.
... For what it's worth, War said that out of all of us, the people in that other plane have the best chance of getting out. [though it's not very comforting, considering you had to be brutally murdered to get there.] If things go to shit, I don't think it would be just because of you.
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That was dangerous. You didn't need to get her attention like that to kill her.
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...Sorry. We should have done it when less people were around.
But whenever I looked over -- she was still working on that paper. For us.
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Because if she's still trying, then what right do I or does anyone have over her life? ...That's what I thought. She wasn't like Kar, who was ready for the end. She rallied herself after killing Famine, and she was still working hard.
[there's a wave of guilt, and not a little amount of self-loathing]
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She's been afflicted for a while. [quietly. her emotions are a mess. grief and guilt and the nauseating horror of having watched a little girl die, but.] I don't think... you did anything wrong. I don't think we have another way of helping the afflicted, either. From the sound of things, she might even be better off in the other plane with Death and the others, where she can't be forced to hurt anybody else or used as a sacrifice by the cult.
[though it hurts horribly to say any of this.]
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...I think so too. As much as I'll beat myself up over this... I have to believe that she's safer over there. And that they'll benefit just as much from her help.
[even though the reality of it is terrible all around]
And if things all go to shit... then I'll still accept what I've done.
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Y'know, that does actually make me feel a little better... In a fucked up kind of way.
[TO KNOW THAT IF THINGS GO TO SHIT THEN IT'S NOT JUST CAUSE OF HIM]
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